Has Glee already jumped the shark?

So we finally watched the season premiere of "Glee" last night - and agreed that who ever gets to write lines for Jane Lynch's character of Sue Sylvester has the best job in the world.

• “A female football coach, like a male nurse? Sin against nature.” 
• “The two of you are making a mistake, the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexicans sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross.”

And the one that made me rewind our DVR twice to re-watch this exchange: 

• Coach Beiste: You're all coffee and no omelet. Sue: That doesn't make any sense.

Here are some of Sue’s best lines from Season 1:

I’m a little concerned about my continued enjoyment of this show after reading a report today that producers have signed Gwyneth Paltrow for a series of guest shots on the show later this season. 

Isn’t Glee going a little overboard with the stunt celebrity cameos? Neil Patrick Harris, Josh Grobin, Olivia Newton-John, and Broadway stars Idina Menzel, Cheyenne Jackson, and Kristin Chenoweth are just a few of the stars who’ve already appeared. And worse, it seems the show is now hooked on “theme nights” - featuring the music of one artist like Lady Gaga, Madonna, and this week, Britney Spears. 

Have producers – after just one season – lost all of their creative energy in finding interesting story lines for the original cast members, and now rely on stunt cameos and gimmicks?

It’s impossible to…

I picked up the August issue of Esquire magazine last month at Penn Station in New York City, but then ended up sleeping on the train ride back to Boston. It was laying around the house before I brought it with me on a business trip to DC last week. I picked it up on the plane and really enjoyed the issue, especially its feature called It’s Impossible To…” 

• drink a gallon of milk without pausing to vomit
• write a compelling novel for men that does not feature moderate to heavy alcohol consumption
• reconcile religion with science or science with religion
• start a good story with “This morning in spin class…”
• pass people in another boat without waving
• hold a basketball and not want to bounce it
• solve our long-term energy problem without nuclear power

So what do you think? What's it "impossible" for you to do?

The song stuck in my head

I can't get "Beast of Burden" by the Rolling Stones out of my head this morning...

I'll tell ya
You can put me out
On the street
Put me out
With no shoes on my feet
But, put me out, put me out
Put me out of misery

Who wants to snuggle?

This new Chef Boyardee ad gets pretty saucy.

Adventures on the high sea

I don’t know why I drive myself crazy watching these kinds of videos. They only serve to further convince me to never step foot on a cruise ship. This scary footage was taken aboard the Pacific Sun Cruise liner in July 2008, off the coast of New Zealand. The ship was carrying more than 1,700 passengers and 670 crew members when it encountered a severe storm. The thought of being on that ship totally terrifies me – the fact that the entire situation is out of my control, and that there’s no place to go be “safe”. Had I been on board, I would have found two massive concrete blocks, tied them to my legs, and thrown myself into the sea, just to get the whole thing over with.

Back in 2002, we took a three-hour, high-speed catamaran from Bar Harbor, Maine to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. We boarded at about 7:00 am, and there was a line, dozens people deep, of folks lining up at the snack bar to gorge themselves on scrambled eggs, pancakes, and sausage. It wasn’t ten minutes after we pulled away from the dock that a voice came over the loudspeaker. “Ladies and gentleman. We’re going to be experiencing some rough seas ahead. If you have any Dramamine with you, this might be a good time to take it.” I grabbed two extra-strength Dramamine and swallowed them dry – I wasn’t about to leave my seat – and pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up over my head, and hunkered down. For the next 2 hours and 50 minutes, we bounced across the water – and the contents of all of those stomachs filled with breakfasts bounced across the decks of that ship. Luckily, Dramamine pretty much knocks me out, but I remember putting my fingers in my ears to block out the very unpleasant sounds that surrounded me and trying very hard to focus on keeping my breathing steady and slow.

When we docked in Yarmouth, the hundreds of pasty-faced passengers got off the ship, and Peter and I jumped on our bikes and raced out of town for fresh air. It was a beautiful autumn day, but the entire time we were exploring, I kept thinking about the three-hour ship ride back to Bar Harbor that was in front of me. Long story short – the ride back was relatively calm, and since I had taken another two extra-strength Dramamine, I pretty much slept the whole way home. When we arrived back in Maine, I was never so happy to get back on solid ground.

So tell me. Are you a fan of cruises? Am I a big baby – or are there other folks out there who have no interest in the ups and downs of vacationing on the high seas?

Holy Sarah Palin!

I found this in the grocery/general store in Greenville, ME, during our Labor Day holiday. And it was on sale – marked down to $14.99. I should have picked one up.

Hunter Ann® Rifle Hunter Action Figure

She's paving the way for future lady hunters and she's geared up and ready to go! Your daughter will enjoy heading outdoors with Hunter Ann® as she embarks on the hunt of a lifetime. Whether Hunter Ann® is chasing rut-crazed bucks, bugling bull elk, or tracking the elusive black bear, your child will have hours of fun hunting wherever her imagination takes her. This 8" posable figure comes complete with a Mossy Oak® Break-Up shirt and pants, ROCKY® rubber hunting boots, hunting orange vest and stocking cap, rattling antlers, hunting rifle with sling, binoculars, and API™ Baby Grand® treestand with safety harness. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD

A choking hazard, indeed…

And when Julie's happy...

My friend Julie makes the best tater tots. A plate of piping hot tater tots - freshly salted - makes her very happy. Oh, did I mention that when she makes tater tots, she often serves beans and weenies as a side dish? That’s our standard menu during Scrabble games at her kitchen table. If we’re feeling especially gluttonous, we might make caramel apples for dessert. Hey, Julie – I’m hungry. When’s our next Scrabble tournament?