You can't handle the truth

I must give my blogging buddy “Blobby” a shout-out for turning me on to my latest obsession. It’s called Songify, a free iPhone app that turns your spoken word into auto-tuned masterpieces. Check out Blobby’s first single, “A Promise Is a Promise”, in which he “sings” the welcome card that was left in his room at the Farifield Inn during a recent business trip.

So as I pondered joining the ranks of the cast of “Glee”, who have every sound that comes out of their collective mouths bent, folded, and perfected by auto-tuning, I had to decide which song to release as my first single. It had to be big. It had to be epic. I turned to the movies for inspiration, and found a well-known monologue that I thought would be perfect for Songify-ing. I selected Jack Nicholson’s “You Can’t Handle the Truth” speech from “A Few Good Men” (wow, it’s been 20 years since that movie came out).

So without further ado, may I present my first single, “You Can’t Handle the Truth”. I eagerly await your comments and calls from big-name music producers.

A killer performance on "So You Think You Can Dance"

Don’t know if you’re watching this year’s “So You Think You Can Dance”, but this routine by contestant Sasha and her partner, “all-star” Twitch, is one of our favorite routines of the season. A beautiful, steamy, perfectly synchronized performance. 

Are you a cheap first date?

I attended a conference this past week about the convergence of e-mail marketing, social media, and customer relationship management. One of our keynote speakers talked about the meteoric rise in popularity of web-based coupon programs like “Groupon” and “Living Social”. These sites have become so ubiquitous, he said, that it would be perfectly OK to take someone a first date to a restaurant and pay for dinner with a Groupon. But take that same date to the same restaurant and use a coupon you clipped out of the newspaper? A huge social faux pas, he claimed.

Mike’s Rule: No coupons – from online or printed sources – are allowed on a first date. A first date is not designed to be an exercise in extravagance or frugality. So it would be just as wrong to go to the fanciest restaurant in town and whip out your Groupon, as it would be to use your loyalty card at the local Taco Hut so we’d save $1.50 on my combination plate.

Don’t misunderstand: I love my Groupons and use them all the time. But when it’s all about first impressions and getting to know someone, I maintain that using any kind of coupon on a first date is kind of cheap and tacky. Your thoughts?

This Brady Bunch photo needs a caption

Last week, in honor of the passing of Hollywood producer Sherwood Schwartz, I posted a photo from his classic TV show, "The Brady Bunch" and asked for your creative captions. I got such funny responses that I thought I'd post another photo and see what happens. So here goes: please have at it!

"I’ll have to call you back, Cousin Oliver. My dad needs to call the caterer; his men’s group meeting starts in 10 minutes, and the crust-less salmon tea sandwiches and Cherries Jubilee haven’t showed up yet."

Try this: Blueberry Crumble Pie

The picture was taken on my iPhone and doesn't do this dessert justice, so you'll have to trust me - this pie is really, really good.

One of the sweetest tastes of summer is a fresh fruit pie. Here's a delicious, easy-to-make pie that would be perfect for a weekend cook-out or a neighborhood potluck. The crust is foolproof (and buttery), and the zing of the lemon zest and juice really balances out the sweetness of the blueberries. 

This recipe was featured in recent issue of Bon Appetit, and we made it while staying with friends in Maine over the Fourth of July holiday. The recipe calls for fresh blueberries, but we used frozen, and the pie turned out just fine. If you're using frozen blueberries, don't defrost them beforehand.

Blueberry Crumble Pie

Crust

• 1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour plus more for surface
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Filling and topping

• 2/3 cup plus 3 tablespoons sugar
• 2 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest plus 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 5 cups (1 pound 10 ounces) fresh blueberries
• 3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
• 3 tablespoons (packed) light brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 5 tablespoons butter, melted, cooled slightly

For crust

Pulse 1 1/4 cups flour, butter, and salt in a food processor until mixture resembles coarse meal with some pea-size pieces remaining.

Drizzle 3 tablespoons ice water over mixture. Pulse until moist clumps form, adding more water by teaspoonfuls if mixture is dry.

Transfer dough to a lightly floured work surface. Divide into 4 equal pieces. Working with 1 piece at a time, use the heel of your hand to smear each portion of dough twice in a forward motion to distribute butter. Gather all 4 dough pieces into a ball. Flatten into a disk, wrap in plastic, and chill dough until firm, at least 1 hour.

Dough can be made up to 2 days ahead. Keep chilled.

Roll out dough on a lightly floured surface to a 13" round. Transfer to pie dish, gently pressing dough onto bottom and up sides of dish. Fold overhang under and crimp edges decoratively.

Pierce bottom of crust in several places with a fork, then chill until firm, about 30 minutes.

Line a large baking sheet with foil and place on a rack in middle of oven; preheat to 375°F. Line crust with parchment paper or foil and fill with pie weights. Bake until crust is set, about 20 minutes. Carefully remove parchment and pie weights. Bake until crust is pale golden, about 12 minutes longer. Transfer crust to a wire rack; let cool.

Filling and topping

Whisk 2/3 cup sugar, cornstarch, and lemon zest in a large bowl. Add blueberries and lemon juice; toss gently to coat and evenly distribute. Let filling stand, tossing occasionally, until berries release their juices, 20-30 minutes.

Whisk flour, remaining 3 tablespoons sugar, light brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt in a medium bowl. Add melted butter; mix topping with fingertips to blend.

Preheat oven to 375°. Spoon blueberry filling into crust, then sprinkle topping over. Bake pie until filling is bubbling and topping is golden, about 1 hour 15 minutes. Cover with foil after 30 minutes if browning too fast.

Let pie cool on a wire rack. Let stand at room temperature.

Rest in peace, Sherwood Schwartz

Sherwood Schwartz, the man responsible for creating both "The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island" died today at the age of 94. I can’t even imagine trying to calculate how many hours of my formative years were spent watching these two TV programs. Thanks for the years of entertainment, Mr. Schwartz!

Think you’re funny? Hit the “Comments” button below and write a caption for this photo from The Brady Bunch.

"Damn it Alice...I asked you to make pork chops and applesauce!"

"Alice, I don't know how you do it, but That. Cake. Looks. AMAZING!"

Our Portuguese Water Dog avoids the leap of faith

Our dog Otis is a Portuguese Water Dog, a breed of working canines that are originally from – you guessed it – Portugal. We’re told that back in their homeland, this breed was invaluable to local fisherman because the dogs could be trained to herd fish into nets, retrieve objects from the water, and even act as ship-to-shore messengers.

There’s no place on earth that Otis is happier than on the beach, which is why we so enjoy his company during our annual summer vacation in Provincetown, located on the tip of Cape Cod in Massachusetts. Like us, he’s content to spend his day on the sand, relaxing, eating, and occasionally going into the water to play. But despite his breed’s long history with all things water-related, the one thing Otis just won’t do is jump into the water from a dock or any kind of platform.

A couple of summers ago, we went for a walk around the lake at nearby Ashland State Park. Otis was in and out of the water all day – but when we went to the end of a long dock and tossed his tennis ball into the drink, Otis went bonkers. First he tried to reach out with his front paw and coax the ball closer to the dock. Then he tried another angle. And then he shifted again, clearly getting frustrated. Finally, he broke into a full gallop back to shore, where he splashed into the water and swam like crazy to snap up the ball. Time and time again, we brought him to the end of the dock and threw the ball into the lake. And without fail, Otis would run back to the beach and then swim out to his ball.

So I was reminded of Otis’ reluctance to jump into the water today when I saw this video of this pooch who was bound and determined to get his rock out of the water and make it “stay”. The dog seems to have no qualms about jumping into the water or sticking his whole head under the surface.



So is it just Otis, or are most dogs reluctant to take a running leap into water?