A visit from Panty Claus

So we were visiting family in upstate New York for the holidays last weekend. On Saturday morning, I went for a walk with my dad around the retirement village where my parents live. It was a cold, crisp morning, but we had our cups of hot coffee and it was fun to steal a few private minutes alone with my father. Looping back to the house, we made a quick stop at the "clubhouse", the epicenter for all social activities in the village, so my dad could check his mail. I wandered into the main function room, where my dad pointed out the "free table" - a six-foot long, folding table where residents can drop off household items they no longer want. Anyone is welcome to take any item, but it's first come, first served, so if you see something you like, you’ve got to act fast.

On this particular Saturday morning, there were three items on the table: a well-worn copy of "Elle" magazine, an empty egg carton, and a pair of women's panties. Yes, in a retirement village where the average age is well north of 70, one of the items that someone donated to the "free table" was a pair of white panties with little flowers and a little pink bow at the center of the waistband. I have no evidence to prove that I’m not making this up, as I had left my camera back at my parent’s house. Later that morning, as we were on our way out to run some errands, we pulled the car over in front of the clubhouse and ran inside. And wouldn’t you know it? The panties were gone! Perhaps snagged for a Yankee Swap gift or by someone who really, really needed a pair of women's panties.